Saturday, 31 March 2012

Hormones. What all ready?

At the moment everything is quiet and the Hormone Monster hasn't come out to play but I guess that is because it is 10:30pm so it is sleeping.
When the Monster awakens from its slumber it is hard to work out who might actually survive, if you can squeeze under the table with the cowering brother and the poor little cat then you might be alright. The only other hope is the bright morning sun will either blind it or subdue it in some way.
The Hormone Monster definitely doesn't do mornings but it will not lay in bed and read or listen to music, it has to get up and chase you around until you slump to the floor with your head in your hands and beg it to go away even for 5 minutes so that you can regain what little strength that you have left, regroup and start the running battle again.
The Hormone Monster doesn't understand the word NO and will certainly not be able to function without every electrical appliance being on at the same time this includes every light and radio even if it is bright outside. I think it sucks the energy from the appliances so that it can shout and scream louder then yesterday.
The Hormone Monster doesn't like water or brushing its teeth either. The mention of turning the shower on only results in screams so high pitched that the neighbourhood dogs start running to my door. Give the Monster a dinner that contains vegetables and you are asking for trouble, if it were chicken nuggets and chips with loads of tomato sauce then dinnertime would be a peaceful affair.
But I refuse to give into the Hormone Monster and as long as I can snatch my 5 minutes of recharge time then I will survive.
We have given the Hormone Monster a name its name is Ellie who was born a beautiful little girl on the 20th October 11 years ago and although we love her to pieces we will fight the Hormone Monster until it gives us back our beautiful girl, which from what I am told by others might not be until she leaves home.