Why Me!!

Well everyone is back at school including the nits, which my lovely daughter Ellie managed to bring home for a home visit again this week. The poor thing was itching like mad so I got out the nit comb and out came the screams of "I can run faster than you mum so you can't get me with that." as she stomped off to her room for what felt like the one hundredth time on Sunday. After screaming and flouncing and threats of holding her down or tying her to a chair (honestly I didn't) she let me comb through her hair. Tears streaming down her face and her brother Lewis laughing as loudly as he could (me worrying what the neighbours must think) we found the little blighters hiding amongst her shoulder length hair. After only 5 minutes she suddenly flounces off again as I had pulled to hard on a knot and the screaming starts again "Why me mum. I don't cuddle anyone or put my head near anyone else's".

"Well you must do Ellie they can't fly and although I always thought they could jump they can't so you must be near somebody who has them"

Back to the chair we go under a dark cloud and lots of swearing from me, we take our positions and the race is on can the nits and their parents run faster than me and the comb of doom, yes they can. After 10 minutes of coaxing Ellie's hair through the comb I give up and throw the comb across the room and demand that the nit killing solution be found. Frantic searching high and low reveals that the solution is where it should be in the medicine cupboard. Who would have thought to put it there I mean there is Calpol at the side of my bed for those nights when little visitors come knocking on my door, the pain killers are hidden inside my chest a drawers and the cough medicine is in the food cupboard.

Coaxing Ellie back to the chair for the next round of nit destruction I finally try a bit of bribery and offer chocolate if she is good and sits still while I put the glop onto her hair. Bargaining now seems a real good option now for Ellie as she pipes up "How much chocolate to I get for sitting here bored out of my brain"

"One small bar"

"Not a chance mum I want at least 2 or 1 medium sized one"

"But Ellie if I don't put this stuff on your hair you will give everyone nits"

"How when they gave them to me first. Can you get nits if you already have them? I want chocolate."

As she makes another dash for her bedroom where Lewis is hiding behind her door to call her Nitty Nora and make her jump. I slump in the chair and wonder where my handbook on how to get children to behave has gone. I still have dinner to cook and get their stuff ready for tomorrow, as I sit in the chair a huge scream goes up (we live in a flat so I worry what the neighbours must think again) as Lewis jumps from behind the door Ellie is a wreck sitting on the floor her head in her hands sobbing, seeing my chance I pick up the bottle of nit killer and go to her pouring said glop on her head whilst soothing her with "wait till her next goes to the toilet then you can get him" (not very motherly I admit).

Job done glop on head nits slowly dieing Lewis laughing on the floor at Ellie's hysteria and me rushing to the bathroom to wash my hands so that I am ready for the next battle to begin.

Love Jo xx